so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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