I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
