Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
