Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
