You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
