maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We have started to decorate penises.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize