you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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