So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
