she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
