You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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