$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
