Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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