to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
