he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
