She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
