sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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