I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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