I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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