Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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