I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
don't judge my taste in strippers
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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