ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
