Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
