i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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