How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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