He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
