Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
