im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
