You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
