I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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