She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
