he shaved USA in his pubs
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
