need another drink. this is the easiest way
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
