i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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