we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
