erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
