I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
