11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
