this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
