Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
