If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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