She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
