You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
