and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
