just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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