Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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