I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
love makes seman taste better
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
