I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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