thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
