What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
