Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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