16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
