My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
